Rules of the Jungle, Part 1

It has taken me most of my life to realize that there are some certain immutable laws of nature.  For the benefit of posterity, I have started jotting them down. Here’s the first two, perhaps you have some that you would like to share too.

1) Dunkin Donuts Coffee Cup Code:  This is a strictly enforced provision of the national building code and appears to apply to all construction workers.  It goes something like this:  Thou shall drink only Dunkin Donut’s coffee served in a Styrofoam cup and upon completion of thy beverage thou shall dispose of thus specified cup by arbitrarily throwing it on the ground of the construction site.  Optionally, any half drank coffee cup may be left in the framing of the new home construction to ensure that the future home owners will be greeted with a God awful rotting odor emanating from somewhere inside one of the walls of their lovely, new home.

2) The Law of Red Traffic Lights:  The number of red lights observed by a motorist is proportional to how hurried a state the driver is in.  A rushed, panic driver already late for an important business meeting will experience the maximum number of possible red light stops.  If no traffic lights are present along the route, a slow-pokey, elderly Volvo driver from Maine will mysteriously appear in front of the rushed driver.  I believe this is an universal truth from the Creator to shows us all that he has a little time on his hands. My iPod Corollary:  If Lee  would like just one red light so he could safely select select a different playlist on his iPod, he will hit only green lights.

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